Our Version of Events
by J.Day
Summary: AU Future Faberry. Set after a tragedy, the other characters in Glee tell the story of Faberry. Ranges from T to M
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: If you've chosen to be here reading this story, welcome and thank you very much for deciding to read it. Each chapter or few chapters will be from the point of view from a different character. This will be stated at the beginning of each chapter. Here we go!**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Leroy**

It was early on a rainy Thursday morning. It was oppressively grey out, the clouds hanging low over Lima. As if they knew something bad was coming. It was still dark out, but the street lamp outside our bedroom window had switched off, resigning itself until that night rolled around once more. The call came, the phone ringing loudly on Hiram's nightstand, interrupting our sleep-filled silence.

He sat up; flicking on the matching ugly lamp his mother had given us as a wedding present, by his head. Rubbing his eyes with his knuckles, he answered the invasive call.

'Hello…'

'_Hello sir, are you Mr Berry?_'

'Yes, that's me.'

'_Mr Berry, my name is Officer Green. I'm calling from the Lima County Police Department…_'

I stirred hearing a distant male voice. Hiram tapped me quickly on the thigh, making sure I was properly awake. He sat up fully, his face shrouded in confusion. Rachel and Quinn weren't due to be getting into Lima until later on that day.

'What can I help you with Officer…?'

'I'm afraid I'm contacting you with some bad news Mr Berry. Are you sitting down?'

He nodded even though the disembodied voice couldn't see him. I guessed it was more to steady himself than anything else.

'Yes I am.'

'Mr Berry I'm afraid there has been an accident.'

Hiram shook my leg more forcefully and silently flapped his arm in the direction of the television set stood on top of the small cabinet across the room.

I switched on the television quietly and flickers of coloured light waltzed along the bedroom walls. A dark haired female news anchor stared gravely at camera, in front of images of some kind of wreckage.

She cleared her throat with a quiet cough.

'_Breaking News: A plane has crashed just north of Lima Allen County Airport. Officials say of the hundred and thirty passengers on board flight B157, departed from John F. Kennedy Airport in New York City, only six have survived. Four of the survivors are said to be in critical condition in Lima Memorial Hospital. We will keep you updated as soon as we receive more information on the situation_.'

'…_Mr Berry…?_'

Hiram's mouth gaped open. 'Yes…'

'_Mr Berry there has been a plane crash. I'm very sorry to inform you, but your daughter Rachel Berry and her fiancé Quinn Fabray have been killed…_'

The phone slipped instantly out of Hiram's gasp. It tumbled with a quiet thump down into the cream comforter draped across our laps. His face immediately crumpled, tears beginning their journey down his gentle face.

I quickly picked up the phone, speaking with a shaky voice. 'Thank you for calling Officer.'

'_I'm very sorry for your loss_.'

I hung up the phone and left it lying between us on the bed. Sobs wracked Hiram's body, gentle wails slipping out from between his lips. I just sat there. Unable to move. Instantly my head began to throb, unable to process the news.

They're…dead.

I sat frozen, as if the world had finally stopped turning. It was only two days ago we sat at the laptop screen, seeing their bright smiling faces on Skype. They were so excited to come and see us, Rachel said she had some news to share with us. Quinn excused herself politely mid-way through our conversation to stop Charlie from chasing Harmony around in the background.

And then I felt my heart go cold. The kids.

I wrenched open the drawer to my side table and fished out our address book. I quickly flicked through to _L_ finding Santana's cellphone number. Quinn had always joked I should have put it under _S_ for Satan.

With shaky fingers I dialled the number.

'Santana…'

She replied with a weak voice, lacking her usual gaudy confidence.

'_Leroy…_' it was obvious she had heard the news of the crash.

'Are Charlie and Harmony with you?'

'_Yeah, they're safe_.'

I breathed an audible sigh of relief and said a quick thank you to Moses. The girls said they were thinking of leaving them behind in New York. The kids didn't like travelling too much, they both got sick often from it. They only ever left them with two couples – Santana and Brittany or the Chang's.

Santana sniffed. '_Are they…?_'

I knew instantly what she meant. I looked over to Hiram, still sat with his head fixed into his palms.

I removed myself quietly from the bed. I couldn't even believe that we were having the conversation. I headed into the bathroom and shut the door. I sat on the lid of the toilet seat with a heavy sigh.

I reluctantly spoke again, the words not wanting to leave my lips. 'Yeah Santana. They are. We just got the call.'

A muffled sound and a choking sound came from Santana's end. All I could make out was a faint whispered '_Oh my god…_'

My whole body began to ache as I tried to block out the news and the realisation that this all was really happening.

Santana finally spoke again. '_How's Hiram_?'

Thinking of Hiram sitting just a few rooms away, hunched over and distraught finally broke me. I let out a small wail and the tears took over my body. Santana paused, listening to the progression of me falling apart.

'_Come to New York. The kids want to see their grand-papis_. _Britt and I do too._'

Thinking of their small beautiful faces provided a little solace for me. I nodded. 'Thank you Santana. I'll talk to Hiram and we shall consider it.'

I heard a noise in the background coming from Santana's end. She sounded a little distant, as if she were walking around. '_I'd better go, I think Harmony is waking. We hope to see you both again soon_.'

I nodded again. 'Me too Santana, me too.'

We both hung up the phone at the same time, and I sat for a moment in the bathroom, alone in the perfect silence. I'd never understood how anyone could find silence comforting, but I began to understand it sitting alone in that room. I felt the calm of the silence, what I'd imagine sitting in the eye of the storm would feel like. I finally and reluctantly pulled myself up from the black lid of the toilet and relied on my legs to carry me back to Hiram. They felt shaky and unsteady as I walked, like toddler just beginning to discover what it feels like to walk from one parent to the other. And then I thought about the fact that Rachel and Quinn would never see Harmony walk and it nearly drop-kicked me like a hundred kilogram anvil like the ones in the cartoons Quinn would watch with the kids.

I pushed open the door to our bedroom and found Hiram in the same position as I'd left him, he hadn't moved at all. I kneeled softly beside his side of the bed. Like a reflex, my right hand reached up and stroked soothing patterns up and down his hunched back.

'Hiram…' my voice came out so soft it was almost a whisper.

I felt his body take a large breath in and he turned to look at me, the side of his head still resting in his palms. His eyes were so red and swollen he could hardly open them.

'Let's go to New York.' Hiram's eyes instantly closed, but I knew he was still listening to my words. 'I've just talked to Santana. We should go and see the kids.'

His eyes remained closed but he nodded in response to my suggestion. He only verbally responded with one word. 'Yes.'

He turned his top half and I embraced him in a tight hug. His chest pressed against mine and I could feel his heart beating. It was so slow it was hardly beating at all.

* * *

It both took us a few days to come to terms with the fact the accident was even real. We barely slept those nights. The whole town felt as if it had come to a grinding halt, somehow the news of Rachel's death spreading like wildfire around the small community. It wasn't until she began to become successful on Broadway that the town began to appreciate her, which I secretly hated. I hated the way after the news of her death spread, the people who bullied her in high school talked about her as if they actually new her and cared about the fact she had gone.

One night I'd managed to pass out from pure exhaustion. I woke in the darkness, my hand stretched out to find nothing but cold, empty sheets next to me. I rose from my side of the bed, my limbs heavy with the weight of sleep deprivation, walking as if I were still asleep. I heard light snoring from the room next door and I pushed the door open to find Hiram passed out in Rachel's bed. We'd never got round to decorate her room from when she moved out to go to New York for college. I found myself thankful that we never changed those awful pink and yellow walls she chose when she was twelve or thirteen. I decided to leave him there; he finally looked so peaceful lying in her bed after countless days of being in so much pain he barely moved.

At the end of the week, I was finally able to convince him to come with me to New York. It had been days since I told Santana that we'd consider coming to see them. We packed enough of our belongings to be able to stay for a little while longer than we normally would on a typical visit. Although Santana would never admit it, I knew it wasn't just us struggling with it. Call it father's intuition. She'd been Quinn's best friend since they were kids; of course it would be hitting her harder than most people we knew. I was reluctant to call Judy Fabray, scared it would push her tumbling back into the drinking problem and the demons she'd finally managed to overcome only a few years before.

* * *

We boarded flight B859 headed for John F. Kennedy New York City. I'd called Santana the day before I convinced Hiram that it was the right time to go and her relief in our decision to visit was obvious. I knew that we would be staying in Rachel and Quinn's old apartment but I chose not to tell Hiram, I knew he wouldn't come if I told him the inevitability.

I positively heard her smile. '_The kids will be so happy to see you. Britt and I are so glad you're coming. I'll pick you up from JFK._'

'It's fine Santana, we know where you live, we'll just get a cab.'

'_Britt loves playing with them, she can handle them. I'll come get you guys._'

I smiled, thankful for her offer. '_I'll call when we land._'

'Yes sir.'

We were about ten thousand feet in the air when Hiram finally fell asleep against the window next to him. He always loved sitting in the window seat, he always smiled when we finally broke through the clouds. He said it made him imagine what a bird must feel like. I reminded him of the story of Icarus and every single time he nudged me in the ribs and would pretend not to hear me.

I plugged my white headphones into my iPod and inserted them into my ears when I knew Hiram was asleep enough that my music wouldn't disturb him. My iPod was a present four Christmases' ago from Quinn. Whenever we saw each other we'd always talk about music. She'd be eager to learn about bands from my generation, and I would always be interested in hearing in the new music she'd discovered each time we met.

Before Quinn came along, we never celebrated Christmas and just stuck to Hanukkah. Rachel never complained – being an only child could often have its perks. Once the kids came along, they decided to combine the two holidays and Christmukkah was born. Charlie particularly loved it, as he got older and he realised he'd get more presents than most kids he knew around the holidays. As Hiram and I grew to know how important it was to both Rachel and Quinn to embrace each others religions, we couldn't help but join in on the festivities. Hiram grew to love Christmas decorations more than any of us, insisting that he was head of the 'Decorations Committee'. Little did he know he was the only one on the 'Committee'. I smiled to myself as I knew where Rachel got a lot of her characteristics. I smiled at the memory, and then I felt the dull ache in my heart as I slowly recognised that I'd never talk to Quinn about music again. We'd never gather all together again, Quinn stressing out about the cooking and Rachel attempting and failing at dressing the kids in their Christmukkah outfits; while Hiram was up stepladders trying to make sure the tinsel wouldn't keep falling down from the ceiling.

I turned up the volume on the iPod, trying to block out the knowledge that they would only be memories from now on. I flicked through the small amount of albums, mostly from Quinn – she'd always update my iPod for me. I'd never been good with computers or technology. I'd grown to like some of the artists and bands she loved, so I decided to listen to her favourite band the last time I saw her. They were an Icelandic band, peculiarly named _Of Monsters and Men_. (Quinn could never explain the choice of name either.) I flicked play, and their album _My Heart is an Animal _gently filled my brain, soothing me and my tense muscles into the ugly backrest of my navy and white chair.

* * *

It hadn't felt very long before I felt a gentle hand against my left shoulder, gently shaking me.

'Sir…?'

My iPod headphones had somehow slipped from my ears as I'd managed to be lulled into a slumber by the music. My eyes peeled awake and I turned to see a stewardess in an outfit that was very unflattering for her gangly figure.

'Sir we're about to begin our descent, please remove and store any electrical devices.' Her eyes flickered to the iPod sitting on the tray table. 'Please also fold up your tray table.'

I nodded in recognition. 'Thank you.' I croaked, my voice not quite awake as the rest of my body. I lightly jolted my other shoulder, waking Hiram. He slowly looked up at me with those puppy dog eyes.

'We're landing now honey.'


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I just wanted to say a big thank you to anyone who has read the first chapter and if I don't get round to responding to your review I do read them and take them on board :) This chapter was inspired by _Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros_ album _Here_ and _Mumford and Sons_ album _Sigh No More_. Do check them out if you haven't! Enjoy :)  
**

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**Chapter 2: Santana**

When I got the call from Leroy telling me they were coming to New York, I knew things were bound to get easier. Britt and I had been running after the kids for days, their happiness bittersweet. How are you supposed to tell a five year old and an eighteen month old that their moms left and are never coming back? I knew with Leroy and Hiram coming, it wouldn't be so hard. Somehow, they would know what to do.

Since Britt and I found out about the accident, it became hard to look at the kids; I mean really look. Harmony was the tiny double of Rachel; she already had the demanding personality to match. Charlie's laugh was Rachel's laugh, but he had the same hair and eyes as Quinn. I could tell they were both gonna be tall and gangly like Quinn.

Sometimes I'd get up in the morning, B would already be up and she would be in Harmony's room with her dressing as Disney princesses for breakfast. I'd watch from the doorway as they'd prance around, Britt with a fluffy white sparkly wand in her hand like a fairy godmother following her Cinderella. We had two spare rooms so the kids could both have their own rooms when they came to stay.

Charlie would sleep a lot later than Harmony would, which I was thankful for. Harmony was always the early riser. Just like her momma. Lucky for me, so was Britt. I was normally the one in charge of getting Charlie ready for school, and Britt was the one in charge of breakfast time with Harmony. (Which trust me, was no easy feat. Thankfully for me, Brittany has the patience of a saint.)

We learned pretty quickly that feeding Harmony any foods of a congealed consistency in the morning was a huge mistake. Most of it would end up on the kitchen walls, all over Brittany and clumped into Harmony's dark curly hair. Porridge was ruled out as a huge _no _pretty quickly. But she loves bananas. I'll be surprised if the girl doesn't turn yellow the way she eats bananas.

Charlie is more of a Fruit Loops kinda guy. For breakfast every morning without fail, he'll only eat Fruit Loops. We tried once or twice to fool him with Cheerios but that just wouldn't do. The Fruit Loops always won. Q and Rach would always tell us to try to wean him off them because Rachel was always complaining about the sugar content, but it was a pretty useless crusade. I think in the end they both knew that.

* * *

As I drove to the airport, I found myself thinking of all the phone conversations I'd had with Q about the kids, hearing the distant yells of Rachel in the background reminding Quinn to tell me any details that had been forgotten about. Without fail, every single time we looked after the little ones, Rachel would produce a list pages long; as if neither of us had ever looked after a kid in our lives.

We'd volunteer as often as they needed someone to look after the babies. Rachel was often kept late at the theatre with rehearsals, and Quinn was often pulled into meetings with her editor regarding her book. My insides heaved, knowing I'd never read the finished product. Just another thing to add to the list. With a lot of persuasion, she let me read the first two chapters. It was a beautiful and touching tale of love, loss and overcoming struggles. A little part of me wondered if she knew how true her story would become.

I drove quietly, _Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros_ playing in the background. Quinn always raved about them and their music, and I found myself shamelessly become a fan of theirs. I smiled to myself knowing that she'd be proud to know that I was listening to them so much.

* * *

I was greeted inside the terminal with embraces from both of the Berry men. Leroy held me in his grasp for slightly longer; and I let him as I knew that was what he needed. He smiled gratefully at me. He looked me up and down appraising me. It made me happy to know that despite what had happened, he was ever the same Leroy underneath it all.

'You look good.' He nodded.

I wanted to say the same, but honestly he looked tired and drawn. I smiled gently at him and responded with the only thing I could think of. 'Thank you for coming.'

I helped them shift their bags into the back of the Range Rover and we all climbed inside. I started up the car and Leroy instantly recognised the music flowing quietly out of the stereo.

He nodded to himself. 'Edward Sharpe.'

We all sat quietly, listening to Alex Ebert's gentle voice as we coasted down the freeway towards our home. I'd stupidly told the kids that their grand-papis were coming to town, and left poor Brittany to deal with two hyped up children. At least I knew they'd get a good reception. My heart dipped knowing that now that they were here, we'd have to tell the kids what had happened.

I noticed in my rear-view that Hiram sat staring blankly out of the window. He looked different, and it was no surprise to me. The weight of the world hung down on his shoulders, and there was nothing any of us could do to relieve the weight. It was happening to us all, but we quickly learned that everyone deals with it differently. Leroy tried to soldier through, trying to be strong for himself and his husband. Brittany and I had to learn to put others ahead of ourselves; we had two children to care for. The problem was; no one knew the fate of those two little lives that held so much hope and so much promise. We all silently agreed that of course they wouldn't be split up.

* * *

It got me thinking about the first time Britt and I found out Rachel was pregnant. We knew that they'd been consulting every doctor in the state, looking for a way that they could combine both Quinn and Rachel into one child. After months of tears, disappointments and countless doctor's appointments; their dream finally came true.

They'd invited us to go for lunch at a local bistro called The Shack that specialised in vegan dishes (of course). Brittany quite likes the food there, I think it tastes like cow food but that's beside the point. Brittany and I had arrived a little early, for a change. We sat at the reserved table, awaiting their arrival. I just figured they were too busy making out to get their asses outta the house to see us. Oh how I couldn't be more wrong.

The heavy wooden and glass door opened, Quinn holding it open for Rachel. The little munchkin walked in, and I thought she looked a little more round than usual. I just brushed it off, thinking it was probably just my eyes. But as they got nearer, I knew my eyes weren't deceiving me. Rachel was definitely more curvy than normal around her middle. We hadn't seen either of them in about a month, due to work commitments and conflicting schedules.

Rachel smiled as she approached the table at the expression which was obviously creeping across my face and we both stood to greet them. We hugged them both tightly and I looked down.

'You're…'

Rachel beamed that infamous toothy smile and I looked across to Quinn who was also beaming.

Rachel giggled. 'We're pregnant!'

Britt let out a small squeal and embraced our two friends once more.

Rachel was two and a half months pregnant, and they'd just found out a few days before. Quinn wanted to call straight away, but Rachel decided it would be more fun to wait and show us in person to see our reactions. And that it was. I'd never seen either of them so happy together. I couldn't believe Quinn was the same person as the person who had whined to me over the phone at least once a week during the first year of college about how much she wanted to devote herself to the small high maintenance diva.

* * *

It was usually once a week; sometimes it would be as much as an hour two or three times a week. Thank God for free minutes on my cellphone contract. She'd bought a train pass for Rachel just before we left McKinley, in the hope that they would be able to remain friends. It wasn't long before Quinn realised it wasn't friendship she wanted. She wanted a whole lot more. Of course, I was the one who had to listen to all of the details. If I dared complain, she would just say that she was getting her own back for the way I moped over Brittany back in high school. She had a point.

It was always fun to hear the sordid details of the way Quinn tried to deny herself to think about Rachel after she realised how she really felt. Being the best friend, I was there for that moment too.

Just like every other monumental conversation ever held in McKinley High, we were by the sinks in the girl's bathroom. This time Puck hadn't decided to stroll in mid-conversation, we guessed he was too busy trying to pursue some poor Cheerio as usual.

She'd been avoiding me and the rest of the Glee club all day, and I wanted to find out why. She'd been in Glee club for about five minutes before she excused herself to the bathroom and never came back. Mr Schue had sent me looking for her, to check nothing had happened to her.

I marched into the bathroom, to find Quinn standing at the sinks, just staring blankly into the mirror.

I huffed. 'Oh thank God you're here; we were all beginning to think you'd fallen down the toilet into Narnia.'

Her head didn't move, she just kept her gaze fixed on her reflection.

'You do know if you stare at it too hard it might crack…' obviously my impeccable humour was lost on her when she didn't even smile or laugh.

She spoke softly, her voice oddly low. 'Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder about the person you've become?'

I stepped over to the sink beside her. That wasn't the Quinn I knew. I looked through the mirror at her. 'Quinn…?'

She exhaled and closed her eyes. 'I'm in love Santana…'

I breathed a sigh of relief. At least she wasn't pregnant again like my first suspicion.

I chuckled a little. 'Well that's not so bad is it?'

She opened her hazel eyes and stared at me through the mirror. Her face devoid of emotion. I found myself utterly confused. I'd always been under the impression falling in love was a wonderful, special thing. Obviously I was missing something. The next words she spoke snapped me completely out of my thoughts.

'…With Rachel…'

A stream of saliva caught in my throat and I coughed, choking a little in surprise.

'R-_Rachel_…? As in the brown haired hobbit _Rachel Berry_…?'

She looked down at her hands bracing the sink. 'I can't be in the same room as her San. I can't even look at her. Every time I do I feel sick to my stomach.'

I remember so clearly that I felt like I had vertigo from the impact of her admittance. The words fell from my lips without me really thinking about them.

'I-I don't understand…'

'Neither do I.'

'How long?'

She swallowed. 'A few months. I don't know.'

'She's marrying Finn…'

She let out a breath as if she were in physical pain. 'Don't you think I know that? I can't think about it. I'm not going to the wedding.'

My eyes searched for hers. 'You have to go Q.'

'And watch her marry someone else? I'm many things, but I'm not a masochist San.'

'It'll mean a lot to her if she knows you support her. That you support her decision.'

She huffed and her eyes finally found mine. 'Don't you get it? I _don't_ support her decision. She's making the wrong decision and as much as everyone will deny it, you know I'm right. I thought you of all people would know what it feels like to know the person you love doesn't love you back.'

'You don't know what she feels Quinn.'

'Isn't it obvious? She's marrying Finn. It's pretty clear what she feels.'

I shook my head. 'Isn't it obvious? If you looked at her for longer than two seconds you would see that she's _not_ happy. Not as happy as she could be. She's realising she's made the wrong decision by agreeing to marry him. You would know that if you actually looked at her. It's obvious, Quinn. And not just to me. Kurt knows it too.'

'And what do you suggest I do? She wouldn't listen to me if I even tried to talk her out of it. She totally ignored my advice when it came to her first time with Finn.'

'And don't you know that she regretted it? It was a pity fuck for Christ's sake, we all know that! You've always been better than Finn, and secretly she knows that too. First and foremost she needs her friends Quinn. So be the best friend you can be, and support her. You'll be the one she turns to when it all falls apart. Do the right thing; say you'll go to the wedding.'

I'll always remember the way she looked at me when she realised I was right. Her internal battle was obvious. She was desperate to stop the wedding but she knew that wouldn't be the best thing for Rachel. She had enough sense to know that Rachel had to come to that decision on her own. Later she told me that she was thankful for me, that I had that conversation with her. She'd always known that I was right; it was just hard for her to see it.

* * *

There was one particular day. It was kinda grey over in New Haven, and I'd promised Q I'd go see her. She'd been out the night before, so she was still kinda messy when I got there. Luckily I knew where she lived so she didn't have to come pick me up from the station.

I knocked three times on her apartment door, and it was a good few minutes before the door opened to reveal her in her hungover state. She'd thrown on her navy pair of Yale sweats and an old jumper with a hole in the left armpit that Puck had given her years ago. Lord knows why she still kept it. She was so hungover she looked almost grey.

I stepped in the door and shut it behind me. She made her way back to the old brown beat up couch. Her father's parting gift in her parents divorce.

'Hello princess…'

She flopped back down onto the couch, sprawled out taking all the room. Lucky for me there was a spare small mis-matched cream armchair adjacent to the couch. I smiled a little to myself at her self-induced misery.

And then my brain registered the background noise. Mumford and Sons' _White Blank Page_. My insides groaned. It was then that I knew something went very wrong the night before. It was her go to song when she was wallowing in her self-pity. The very mention of it made me roll my eyes on reflex. I looked over to the record player spinning the album vinyl. I didn't even want to know how many times she'd listened to it already.

'Come on, what happened?' she just grunted, her forearm shielding her eyes. 'You play this song when something bad happens. I should know I've had to listen to it enough times.'

'It's a good song.' She mumbled.

'It's fucking terrible. Now stop avoiding the question.'

She sighed. 'I went to a party…'

'Well that's obvious.'

'I hooked up with this girl.'

My interest suddenly peaked. 'Well look at you Fabray!' I chirped impressed. 'Are we talking hooked up, or _hooked up_…?'

'_Hooked up_.'

'What happened…?'

'We were making out and I…' she stopped abruptly and shook her head. 'No.'

'You said her name, didn't you?'

Finally her forearm lifted and she tilted her head to look at me. 'How do you…?'

I smiled. 'Personal experience. It happens Q, that's not so bad.'

She shook her head. 'That wasn't even the bad part.'

My smile fell as my stomach churned. I braced myself for her to continue. 'Oh no…What did you do Quinn?'

'She left. After she left I called Rachel. I called her and I told her what happened.'

My mouth fell partly open. '_Quinn_! What the _hell_ did you do that for?'

She covered her face with both of her hands and shook her head. 'I don't know. I really, I don't know.'

Come to think of it, I should've known something was wrong. Normally I see a chirpy Rachel every morning without fail, devouring her second cup of coffee while I was barely standing out of bed. But I didn't see her at all that morning before I left. I should have known something wasn't right.

It was then I knew why she wanted me to come over that day. She'd never say it, but she needed my help. She needed to lean on me, even for a little while. So I moved off the armchair, and lifted the top of her back up from the couch so I could slide underneath her. I cocooned her in my arms and she twisted her torso toward me. She pressed the side of her face against my collarbones. She sobbed. She sobbed like I'd never seen before. She sobbed for everything she said, and everything she couldn't say.

* * *

I felt everything she felt sitting in the car with both of the Berry men. My insides felt heavy and I wanted to sob for everything I never told Quinn. I wanted to cry out my regrets and I wanted to cry because I knew I couldn't. I had more people to think about than myself.

We pulled into the driveway, and I began to feel more steady knowing Britt, Charlie and Harmony were a mere few feet away. I helped Hiram and Leroy drag their bags out of the trunk, and we stepped inside the house.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This chapter is a little shorter than the others as it was more of a transition chapter to lead into Chapter 4. To fit with the title of this story, to write this chapter I used Emeli Sande's album '_Our Version of Events_'. If you haven't heard it I really recommend! Oh and a huge thank you for anyone who has expressed any interest in this story, it's always nice to see! As always, enjoy :)  
**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Brittany**

The doorbell ding-donged and Harmony's little legs went hurtling towards the front door like Lord Tubbington used to do when he was a kitten. Her little pink headband with the bobbing unicorns I bought her swayed as she galloped on clunky legs. She clung onto the side of the white door as I opened it to reveal San and Berry's daddies standing behind her.

Harmony squealed throwing her hands up. 'Ro-Ro!'

Leroy smiled as he bent down and scooped her up in one shaky arm. 'Hello little star.' I looked across to Hiram and he watched them both together, trying to smile. But I knew what he was thinking. They always called _Rach_ 'little star' when they saw her.

San stepped in and helped the two Berrys bring their bags inside. Hiram looked to me and smiled.

'Where's Chuck?' He always called Charlie 'Chuck' as a cute little nickname. I'm not sure Charlie found it so cute.

'He just spilled ketchup down his favourite t-shirt; he'll be down in a sec.'

He smiled knowingly. 'Just as clumsy as Quinn.'

No one said anything about it, but you could almost feel the air change around us. It was the first time we were together in months and the first time we realised we weren't _all_ together. And we never would be again.

Santana swooped in, swiftly changing topic. She turned to the Berry men.

'You guys must be starving, let's make some food.'

Santana has always been the one to swoop in, usually to cover from 'me putting my foot in my mouth'. I never really understood what they meant but San always knows what she's talking about. Quinn was always really good at swooping in too. I think without Q being there, San woulda done a lot of stupid stuff. I didn't find out till a lot later in a whispered conversation one drunken night, but Quinn is the reason why San and I ever got married in the first place.

* * *

San insisted that Q had to be her best man…or was it woman? I can't remember. Anyway, Q said that on the day of our wedding, she was helping San get dressed in her hotel room. Rach insisted Santana and I should have separate hotel rooms before the wedding. We let her be wedding planner so she'd have something to do with the wedding. I think we both regretted that one pretty quickly.

Q and San were in her room just before the wedding when she started pacing across the room. We'd chosen red for Santana's dress; she'd always looked so good in red. Of course mine was white, traditional as always on Rachel's orders to the bridal store.

When she wouldn't stop pacing, Quinn stood up.

'San stop pacing.'

She clawed at the skin on the backs of her hands. 'I…I don't think I can do this Q.'

'Of course you can! It's B, you guys are meant to be together…'

Santana stopped still. 'What if I can't make it work?'

Quinn smiled to herself in recognition. She thought this might happen. 'You've just got cold feet San, it's pretty normal. Of course you can make it work, you love each other remember?'

'What if I can't give her whatever she wants?'

Quinn shook her head and approached San. 'You can give her everything and more and you know that in there.' She pointed to San's chest. 'You're nervous that's all.'

San shook her head quickly. 'Me? Nervous? Of course I'm not nervous! I don't get nervous.' She snaked a hand up her back and tried to grip at the top of the zip. 'Help me out of this thing; I need to get out of it.'

'What? No, San you're getting married in half an hour…'

'Lucy Quinn Fabray help me out of this dress or so help me God I will go all Lima Heights.'

Although Santana's dress was already red, not wanting any blood stains on our wedding day; Quinn quickly helped San out of the dress the designer so carefully laced her into.

She collapsed down onto the end of the bed in the centre of the room in her underwear, Quinn just watching her. She cupped her hands around her mouth, rocking slightly backwards and forwards.

'San…are you…are you having a panic attack…?'

'Looks that fucking way doesn't it.' she snapped.

Quinn looked around the room for something she could use as a paper bag but nothing would work.

She kneeled in front of Santana carefully and tried to rub her back.

'Put your head between your knees and just tried to breathe San…'

Instead of saying something laced with bitterness she decided to follow Quinn's orders and bent forward placing her head between her knees.

'Just slowly in through your nose, out through your mouth…'

She rubbed slow lines up and down her back, and then eyed the mini bar.

She darted over to the small fridge and mixed San a JD and Coke, her favourite drink. Santana finally released her head from between her knees and sat upright. Quinn held out the glass tumbler with the floating dark brown liquid. San gripped the glass and downed the whole thing quickly and winced.

She held out the glass. 'Another.'

Quinn fixed her another, what could another drink hurt?

Santana downed the second drink, and held out the empty glass again. 'Another.'

* * *

Four JD and Coke's later, they had Santana fitted back in her red dress and leaving her hotel room. She walked down the hallway, slightly leaning against the supporting Quinn forever at her side. They approached the large hall doors where they needed to prepare themselves for Santana's father to walk her down the aisle.

Rachel came breezing out of the white curtained double doors and turned her head to see Quinn and Santana standing together; Quinn gripping Santana by the shoulders, trying to look at her.

Rachel knew exactly what had happened.

'_Quinn_!' she hissed quietly, making Quinn's head turn.

Rachel motioned Quinn over, and she left Santana staring intensely down into her white and red flowers.

'Quinn how could you get her _drunk_?' Rachel chastised quietly, not wanting to draw attention from any late members of the congregation darting into the large room.

'She's not drunk…'

They both looked over to Santana next to the wall. 'She quite obviously is underneath the influence _Quinn_. Look at her, she can't even see straight!'

Quinn tried not to smile at the sight of Santana's face almost buried into her small bouquet of flowers. She shook it off. 'She's fine…' Rachel gave her a short look. 'Okay, maybe she's a _little_ tipsy…'

'_Tipsy_!' she squeaked. '_Tipsy_? Quinn she's almost swaying!'

She shrugged. 'She'll be fine.'

'You'll pay for it if she's not Quinn Fabray.' Rachel warned pointing her finger before disappearing back into the large room, passing Santana's father who was on his way to walk his half-drunk daughter down the aisle.

The big doors opened and everyone in the room stood as Quinn made her way down the aisle. She stepped up to me and gave me a small hug.

'Good luck.' She whispered into my ear. I never understood what she meant until she told me all about what had happened pre-the wedding. Rachel said I should have been really mad. I guess I just have a sense of humour when it comes to my San.

* * *

A little while later when we'd settled the kids into bed, we all headed out onto the small terrace we have out back of our house; glasses of wine in hand. We sat around the small table and talked about the subject we'd been trying to avoid since Berry's daddies arrived: Rachel and Quinn.

We'd all agreed that the funeral should be in New York. New York is what brought them together, and what brought us all together. Rachel belonged in New York, and Quinn belonged with Rachel. It was hard to sit across from Leroy and Hiram and believe we were talking about burying our best friends. Santana agreed to contacting everyone we knew about attending, while Leroy and Hiram said they would cover costs. Who knew burying the dead would be so expensive.

The sun sank behind us along with our hearts as the chill of the night and our proximity to death became realistically close.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Welcome to Chapter 4! Just as a little note, I've tried to stay pretty close to the events in the show, but I have changed some parts like Kurt and Blaine splitting up pre-this story. In this version, Kurt and Dave are together and Kurt got into NYADA with Rachel. Again, thank you for all the love!**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Kurt**

It was ironically sunny. Clear crystal blue skies, not a cloud in sight. Apparently the birds had reserved their tweeting for happier times. The procession looked like something straight from a Chanel Autumn/Winter runway show. At least I knew Rachel would appreciate the sombre theatricality of it all. Streams and streams of black town cars full of weepy chic black clad bodies come to pay their final respects. I sat in the second town car with Santana and Brittany following Mr and Mr Berry with Judy Fabray in the first car. Judy had flown in from Ohio; Mr Fabray was nowhere to be seen. I'd heard through the grapevine that neither Quinn nor Judy had any contact with him after the divorce and Judy certainly didn't want him anywhere near her daughter's funeral. Fair enough really.

As we stepped out of each car, knowing and recognised glances were exchanged but no one smiled. No one wanted to believe that we were all back together because of this. That this tragedy was what it took to bring us all back together again. The whole McKinley crew were there, ready to pay their respects to the teammates we'll always remember.

We all padded together across the perfectly manicured grass, heads lowered as we weaved between the paths and the various tombstones. There was a wide gap in the grass, two identical dark wood coffins placed carefully atop hydraulic cradles suspended over the wide grave. A strong ache gripped my rib cage as I knew my best friend was lying in one of those coffins. The girl I'd always turned to when I had any problems with Blaine, or the long road to NYADA or when Blaine and I decided to go separate ways. We would talk for hours on end about all the musicals we thought each other were perfect for; and the dream that one day we would write our own.

Two men stood waiting for our approaching congregation, both dressed in black. One of them wearing a traditional Jewish embroidered prayer shawl across his shoulders and a black yarmulke. Rachel always loved to embrace her Jewish roots, and I knew without even looking that her dads would appreciate the Rabbi's presence. Standing next to him was a young tall thin blonde haired man, who ironically, would look like Quinn if she were a guy. He nodded slightly to Santana as she and Brittany passed (I later found out that Santana recommended the Vicar to Rachel's dads for the service.)

As we all stood in rows to the left side of the coffins, the Berry's Rabbi, Rabbi Blatt began the service.

'We all gather here today to celebrate the lives of two very special women...'

Standing in the front row, I was sandwiched between Rachel's dads and Brittany and Santana. I looked down our row; Judy Fabray stood next to Brittany and then at the very end of the row, stood Noah Puckerman. I felt my breath catch as I recognised the blonde girl standing with him. Beth. She looked just like her mom, but I could tell she had Puck's swagger.

'…Miss Lucy Quinn Fabray and Miss Rachel Barbra Berry…'

Santana leaned into my ear and whispered. 'Berry's last name was _Barbra_…?'

I nudged her sharply in the ribs but kept my attention on the Priest and the Rabbi. Even thinking about it makes it sound like a really bad joke is coming. Like Quinn and Rachel would jump out of a nearby tree and tell us it was all a big joke as a punchline. I was half expecting it. The kicker was; the punchline never came.

Vicar Easton continued. 'Today will be both a service of remembrance and celebration. Remembrance of the lives of these two women so tragically taken from us, and a celebration of their youth and lives together. As specified by both Rachel and her fathers, Leroy and Hiram, I understand Mr Kurt George Hummel has a few words he would like to share with us…'

Both Vicar Easton and Rabbi Blatt took a step back and looked over the gap expectantly at me. Nervously I stepped out of the row and made my way around to their side of the congregation.

I unfolded my piece of paper I had as my prompt and took a deep breath.

'It's no secret that Rachel's number one idol is the wonderful and irreplaceable Ms Barbra Streisand. Once she said 'I am simple, complex, generous, selfish, unattractive, beautiful, lazy, and driven.' I think that's a pretty accurate way of describing both Rachel and Quinn. Their love was simple. Obvious. I remember the first time Rachel fell in love with Quinn. She'd always admired Quinn, and valued their friendship; but she told me, when Quinn handed her the acceptance letter from Yale…she realised she didn't want to ever be without her. Secretly, I knew she'd been in love with her all along, but I thought it would be a lot more enjoyable to watch her come to that conclusion by herself. They were both complex. I'm pretty sure that's why it took them so long to actually drop the denial and get together. They were so generous with their love, to each other, to Charlie and Harmony, and to us all. That was definitely obvious whenever you were around them. They were both incredibly selfish. Rachel was selfish with her truly unparalleled talent, I should know – she kept it all to herself, making competing with her impossible!'

I saw a few faint smiles rippling through the gathering.

'Quinn was selfish with her dedication to Rachel. I've never seen anyone so dedicated to one person before. Unattractive…I think we can all agree that neither Rachel nor Quinn were unattractive in the least. In fact, sorry Santana, but I think they were the two most beautiful women I have ever known. Quinn was definitely the lazier of them both, purely because Rachel could make Usain Bolt look lazy the way she worked! We can all agree that Rachel Berry was undeniably driven. She was the true star in our sky, the anchor to bring us all together.'

I could see both Leroy and Hiram hunching forward, the funeral weighing heavily on them. Judy was leaning on Puck, weeping into a white handkerchief; so I decided to wrap it up.

'We can all agree that it is truly tragic that they have been taken from us in their prime. So let's not dwell on that. Today, as Vicar Easton said, let's celebrate their youth and lives together. Let's celebrate the love they had for each other and gave us all. Let's celebrate the fact that they gave us two more precious little lives, and revel in the stories and happy times that we had with them both. I know we all know one or two funny anecdotes about Rachel.'

I folded up my piece of paper, signalling the end of my speech and I felt Rabbi Blatt's hand brush my shoulder. 'Thank you Kurt.'

From his prompt I rejoined everyone else, standing on the other side of the grave. Rabbi Blatt addressed us all again. He gestured to the mound of soil at the head of the coffins.

'Beginning with the parents of both Quinn and Rachel, we request that you sprinkle some earth into the grave. This symbolises the way in which their bodies will become one again with the earth, forever being with us in spirit, in our surroundings.'

Reluctantly, Hiram, Leroy and Judy all stepped forward taking handfuls of soil one by one and sprinkled it down onto the coffins by their feet. Following their lead, we all repeated the actions one by one, settling Rachel and Quinn into their final resting place.

The Rabbi interlocked his hands in front of himself. 'And now we will say a Jewish prayer.'

I stiffened a little, I had no idea of any prayers and my Hebrew was extremely minimal at best. Luckily for me, the prayer turned out to be in English. Everyone lowered their heads sombrely as the Rabbi began to speak.

'_God full of mercy who dwells on high_

_Grant perfect rest on the wings of Your Divine Presence_

_In the lofty heights of the holy and pure_

_Who shine as the brightness of the heavens _

_To the soul of Rachel. _

_Who has gone to her eternal rest_

_As all her family and friends_

_Pray for the elevation of her soul. _

_Her resting place shall be in the Garden of Eden. _

_Therefore, the Master of mercy will care for her_

_Under the protection of His wings for all time_

_And bind her soul in the bond of everlasting life. _

_God is her inheritance and she will rest in peace_

_And let us say Amen.'_

I'm not a religious guy, but there was something about those words in that prayer that rang so true for me. I could imagine Rachel as an angel with the big white wings that only Victoria's Secret Angels wear every year at the annual runway show.

Vicar Easton quietly raised his head. 'And now we will say a Christian prayer.'

Again we all lowered our heads.

'_Lord our God, _

_You are always faithful and quick to show mercy. _

_Quinn was suddenly taken from us. _

_Come swiftly to her aid, _

_Have mercy on her, _

_And comfort her family and friends_

_By the power of the cross. _

_We ask this through Christ our Lord._

_Amen.' _Everyone uttered following the Vicar's example. Dave rubbed my shoulder like he always did when he knew I was tense.

'You did great Kurt.'

* * *

The service ended pretty shortly after the prayers, we all huddled back into the nearby chapel and into the back room for a small wake. After everyone settled in and condolences were passed on to Judy and the Berry men, everyone began to relax a little. At one point, Santana broke away from Brittany and came up behind me, grabbing my elbow as I was chatting with Dave.

I turned and saw the urgent look in her eyes. 'San…?' Her eyes flicked down and I saw a cellphone in her hand. _Rachel's_ cellphone. 'Santana!' I squeaked.

She pulled hard on my elbow, moving closer into me if it were even possible.

'Keep your voice down prancy Smirf…come with me…'

I was yanked forward, Santana ignoring that I was even having a conversation. I looked back to a bewildered Dave.

'I'll be back in a minute honey.'

Santana crept through the hallway as if she were some sort of undercover Secret Service Operative. The kind of stuff Santana can pull off; I really wouldn't be surprised if she really were working for the government. She pulled me back into the chapel and locked the pretty stained glass door behind us.

We sat down in the pews, side by side. She held the cellphone between her palms in her lap. I just watched her.

Eventually she spoke. 'We can find out.'

She was being cryptic. She was _never_ cryptic. 'Santana why do you have Rachel's cellphone…and _how the hell did you get it_?'

'This is her old cellphone. She was planning on picking up her new one when they got back from visiting her dads. She left it at our house the night before they were leaving when they dropped off the kids, and I meant to meet her in the morning so I could give it to her.'

'What can we find out San…?'

'The night Q told Rachel everything, it was a voicemail…'

A creeping realisation crawled over me. 'You wanna know what she said.'

'And you don't?'

Something felt wrong about the whole situation. Probably because we were sitting in a church with a Caucasian Jesus watching us from the altar. But then again, Santana and I were both going to hell anyway. I nodded to her and San dialled into Rachel's voicemail and switched it to speakerphone.

The automated voice began. The only problem was, we didn't know which message was Quinn's.

'_Message 1. Message received Thursday, June 14__th__ at two forty-five pm.'_

'_Hello Miss Berry, this is Dr. Richardson calling from Lenox Hill. I'm just calling to confirm your 14 week antenatal scan next Wednesday at one pm. See you and Quinn there!'_

A hard lump had formed in my throat. We both just sat and stared down at the black cellphone. My eyes drifted up to meet Santana's eyes brimming with water.

'She was pregnant…'


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So here comes the next chapter! I hope this one isn't so upsetting, I tried to use the Santana/Kurt dynamic to lighten it up a little for everyone. My playlist for this chapter was Florence and the Machine's second album _Ceremonials, _so if you wanna get a bit of a feel for this chapter, give it a quick listen (it's fantastic!) Anyway, as always, enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Puck**

Trying to find the pisser in that tiny goddamn church, I walked past the chapel we walked through on the way to the wake. I thought no one was in there at first, but I heard a low murmur of voices that took me over to the white door. I peered through the glass and saw Santana and Kurt sitting next to each other on one of the pews. I tried the doorknob but it wouldn't budge. They'd locked the door. I thumped the side of my hand against the stained glass and I saw them both jump. Santana squinted her eyes and realised it was only me. She gave something to Kurt said something to him before quickly coming over and unlocked the door, letting me in. Once I was inside, she locked the door again.

'What's going on?' I looked to Kurt. 'Is she tryna convert you to Satanism again…?'

Kurt's head jolted up, looking at me.

'You can't say things like that in here Puck!' he half whispered as if someone was listening. Santana raised her eyebrow at me.

I had to chuckle at that. 'Coming from the two gays…?'

'Said the teenage Jewish manwhore…' Santana retorted. She always had a quick mouth, and I guess that's what I loved the most about her. Although I'd never admit any of that to her. Ever.

Santana sat down next to Kurt and they both sat in the positions I first saw them in, staring down at their laps.

I scoffed. 'Please don't tell me you're praying…'

But they didn't raise their heads. They just sat, almost like they were frozen together; just staring down.

I walked over to the pew in front of them and sat down, turning myself to face them. I looked down and saw a little black cellphone sitting in Kurt's lap.

'Is that…?'

'Rachel's cellphone.' Kurt nodded.

'Why do you…'

'Berry was pregnant.'

That just about knocked the wind out of me. Y'know when you have that moment when you realise something, but you're still kinda in disbelief? Like things have kinda slowed down, waiting for you to catch up with it all. Yeah that was me.

I shook my head looking down at the cellphone. 'I-I know…'

They both turned to look at me as if they were watching some kinda horrific car crash you see on traffic cops or some shit.

'W-Whaddya mean you know…?' her face fell. 'Oh my god you fucked Berry!' she hissed.

'Santana! _Language_!'

'Calm down Satan, I didn't fuck the little Jewish princess a'ight?'

'Puck! _Language_!'

'Calm down Tinkerbell.' San and I didn't take our eyes off each other.

'How did you know when _we've_ _just_ found out?'

'Because I'm the father.'

Kurt brought a hand up to his forehead and murmured 'Oh my god I feel like I'm in _Days of Our Lives_…'

Santana's eyes sparked. 'You're _what_?' she hissed.

'We didn't know if it was gonna work again. It worked for Charlie, and it was kinda touch and go for Harmony, so we didn't know if it was gonna work for this one-'

She cut me off, _again_. '_How many children have you fathered Puck_?!'

'Including Beth…' I inhaled, trying to wrap my head around it all. 'Three…well four I s'pose if Rachel was pregnant when it all happened.'

Kurt closed his eyes. 'I think I need to lie down…'

'They told us that Charlie and Harmony were from an anonymous donor source!'

I shrugged not really knowing what to say. 'Well not so anonymous now…'

'So Charlie and Harmony are _yours_?'

I shook my head adamantly. 'No. Charlie and Harmony are Rachel's and Quinn's. I only gave them a little Jew juice on Rachel's request to make it happen. We know I'm good since I knocked up Quinn; and Rachel wanted to make sure their babies had a little piece of Jewish in them. They're absolutely theirs. How d'you even know she was pregnant again?'

Santana made a noise as if she was trying not to gag and Kurt lay down on his back against the pew, holding his head.

'You call it 'Jew juice' again and I'm gon' vomit on you. We heard a voicemail on her cell from her doctor confirming her pregnancy scan. The call was from two days before the crash.'

'How…' I couldn't even believe the words were leaving my mouth. '…How far along was she…'

'Three and a half months.'

I felt a bubbling deep in the pit of my stomach and a sick feeling travelled up into my chest. I hunched over and had to ball my fist in front of my mouth to stop it going any further.

'Do-Do her dad's know…' my voice came out a lot quieter than before.

Santana's eyes went wide. '_No_!' they both nearly shouted at me.

I groaned, thinking it over. 'They need to know.'

'You mean as in tell them?!'

Kurt's disembodied voice came from behind the pew. 'Well how else are they going to find out…'

Santana thumped the side of her fist against his propped up shins. 'If we tell them, they're gonna know we had her phone.'

'So you wanna sacrifice them knowing that their daughter was pregnant just so you can cover up that you two had her phone…seriously San…'

'What d'you think telling them is gonna do? It's not gonna bring them back. It's not gonna bring Rachel back, it's just gonna remind them of one more thing that they've lost. I don't know if I can do that to them Puck.'

'When Q got pregnant, I had to hear it from Finn; and it sucked. It sucked because Quinn didn't tell me first, but it sucked _even more_ because she _couldn't_ tell me first. When it happened, we weren't exactly best buds in McKinley…or at least no one knew that. She couldn't just walk up to me so easily in the halls. It's gonna suck for them to hear it because Rachel and Quinn can't tell them. But we _can_, Santana. She was their little girl. They should know.'

She puffed. 'When did you become such a poster boy?'

'Just personal experience San.'

Kurt finally popped up again. 'I never thought I'd say this but…he's right, Santana.'

'You're both dicks.' She grumbled. She knew we were right too but she'd never admit it out loud.

'_Santana_!' Kurt hissed. '_Language_!'

Santana rolled her eyes and stared at him. I saw the cellphone still sitting in Santana's lap.

'You never did tell me why you had Berry's cell…'

She looked down and wrapped her hands around the cellphone, staring down at it. 'When we were in college, I went to visit Q in New Haven. When I got there I learned she'd been partying a little too hard the night before, and she was hungover to shit the next day. She let it slip that the night before, she'd called Berry. She told her everything.'

It took me a moment to catch on. Come on, I'm not exactly the sharpest knife in the toolbox or whatever. '…You mean, about how she…'

Santana nodded. 'It was a voicemail message. It's on this phone.'

'A-Are you sure…?'

'It's the same the phone.'

I could just see Kurt's eyes roving around the back of the pew I was sitting on. When he was thinking hard about something he always looked real spaced out and shit like I do when I've had too much marijuana.

'…In first year…just before the summer…?'

San turned her head a little. 'Yeah…'

Kurt nodded a little more. 'I remember that day. She came to class and she was…different. I just thought she'd skipped her coffee that morning. She seemed…I don't know…lost, maybe? The lecturer mentioned Barbra and she didn't even hum _Don't Rain on My Parade_.'

I heard the beeps as Santana dialled Rachel's phone. She nodded her head.

'We need to hear that message.'

She flicked it onto speakerphone and the automated voice began. She kept flicking through until Quinn's voice began to fill the chapel. I didn't even have to look at Kurt or Santana to know that shivers moved through all of our bodies.

There was a crackle and we heard a cough.

'_Raaaach! It's me! It's Quinnie!_'

I smiled to myself a little. She always hated it if anyone called her 'Quinnie'. Her voice shook and she slurred a little as she spoke.

'_I need to see you. I wanna talk to you, yes YOU! Listen Rach, there's something that we need to talk about. That I need to tell you! I totally just made out with a chick. Like a real life girl! It was SO weird. She even let me take her home!' _she nearly squealed.

'_It was weird cause I was kissing her but…you. I kept thinking of you Rach. It should have been you. I want it to be you. Just me and you. I want to touch you and taste you and feel you with me. I'll be so much better than Finn. I know things really sucked for you going to NYADA, but I'll treat you so good. I wanted to tell you everything when you told me you were marrying him. It was S who made me realise that I shouldn't give up on you. So I'm not! I won't! I need you Rachel. I want you. I want to be with you. No one is going to change my mind. I just wanna know if you wanna be with me too…'_

Hearing her voice was so surreal. I wanted to look at her. I wanted to reach out and touch her. I wanted to take her hand in mine and just feel her there. Santana looked up at me, but Kurt remained hunched forward, eyes fixed on the cellphone in her lap. I saw the tears in Santana's eyes and I knew she saw them in mine.

'…_Call me back. I miss you…Bye._' The call ended with a sniffling sounding hiccup and a long monotone beep.

No one said anything for a while. We just sat, taking in what we'd just heard. I reached into my suit pants pocket and pulled out my wallet. I opened it and pulled out a photograph of me and Quinn I used to carry around. I started carrying it again after the accident. Sometimes Beth asks to see it.

She looks so happy; we were both smiling like someone had just told us a joke. Her smile soft, her face relaxed. Her hands against my chest as she leaned against me. She was my first love, and throughout everything that happened, a piece of me will always belong with her. In the photo she wore my letterman sweater I got when I was a junior, it always made me smile how baggy it was on her.

Santana swallowed. 'She really did love Rachel, didn't she…'

Both me and Kurt looked towards her. Kurt nodded. 'They both really loved each other.'

She nodded. 'We'll tell the Berry's about the baby.'

I smiled a little and nodded. 'Yeah.'

And then she said something I wasn't expecting.

'You're lucky Puck. You're lucky to have Beth, she looks just like Quinn. She's beautiful.'

'Just like her mother.'

Kurt looked straight at me and I saw the tears glimmer against the brown of his eyes.

One of the double wooden doors leading into the church opened. Santana looked over her shoulder.

'_Shelby_…?'

She stood in the doorway in a black dress that finished at her knees. I smiled to myself; it was clear where Berry got those legs. I took to my feet and walked down the aisle to greet her. She'd never really been much of a part of Rachel's life, but she was definitely upset by what had happened. I smiled at her and lightly kissed her cheek.

'_Puck_!' I turned and Santana was glaring at me.

'What…what's going on _here_?!' she shook her hand at me and Shelby.

I knew it would come up eventually. 'Me and Shelby are…_working _together…'

'At what exactly? Getting her as many orgasms as possible before she dries up?'

Kurt hissed at Santana.

I rolled my eyes. 'Oh fuck you San.'

Kurt glared at me.

'You already tried that remember? I think Shelby is more your style…'

'We're actually working together _to take care of Beth_. Not that you would know anything about that.' I retorted, slightly irritated.

She gritted her teeth. 'Britts and I took care of your spawn whenever Quinn and Rachel couldn't actually. We may end up taking care of them for the rest of our lives. So yeah, I do know a thing or two about that.'

I halted. I hadn't even thought about what would happen to Charlie and Harmony. 'Have-Have you talked about that yet…?'

'We need to talk to Berry's dads about it all. Figure out what's gonna happen. I guess the decision is really Berry's dads and Judy's. Britt and I take care of them, or Mike and…'

I heard footsteps against gravel behind me. Santana watched over my shoulder.

'…Tina…'

Me and Shelby turned, and she stood in the doorway. Tear trails marked her cheeks and she sniffed.

'Hi guys…'


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I've got a double update for you guys cause I know it's been a while. The flashback in this scene is inspired by an edit on Tumblr that the wonderful and amazingly talented Nicky made (user dianna-agronx), which can be found at /post/28687373027. All your support has been amazing and it really means so much to me so thank you all!**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Tina**

They all turned to look at me as I stepped into the chapel.

'Hey guys…'

Puck smiled at me and Santana walked over and gave me a quick hug. After Quinn and Rachel passed, Mike and I and Santana and Brittany had become a lot closer; the kids' happiness kinda depended on it. There hadn't been any discussion as to who would be looking after little Charlie and Harmony, but I'd hoped it would happen soon.

'Hiram and Leroy are here.'

'Yeah I saw them on the way in, they looked pretty drained.'

'Well what d'you expect? They've just lost their daughter and future daughter-in-law.'

I nodded. 'Yeah I didn't mean…never mind. How come you're all in here?'

Santana twitched and I looked down. 'Wh…is that Rachel's cellphone…?'

Santana nodded. 'Why do you have it…?'

'Kurt and I…we were looking for something…'

I rubbed my forehead. 'I don't even know why I'm surprised, you two are the best snoops I know.'

'…Puck found us, and Shelby arrived to make it clear that they're fucking.'

I whirled around. 'Puck!'

Puck glared at Santana. 'Santana!' he shook his head and turned his attention to me. '_We're not fucking_, we're just working together to care for Beth.'

I held up my hands, not really wanting to know all the dirty details. I turned back to Santana.

'What exactly were you looking for…?'

'A message that Quinn left her in college.'

'And you found it on that phone?'

Santana shrugged. 'She hasn't changed this phone in like…years.'

'What message?'

'It was when Quinn confessed everything to Rachel.'

My brow crinkled. 'I thought she knew in high school?'

'She may have done, but Quinn only admitted it all in college.'

'When was it from?'

'Freshmen year.'

'But she was dating Brody…'

She scoffed. 'I don't think that really mattered to Q.'

I stopped and thought for a minute. 'Is…is that why they stopped speaking for a while?'

'You do the math. Quinn ruined Rachel's almost marriage to Finn, _then_ she ruined her relationship with Brody. How could Rachel _not _be even a little mad with her?'

I smiled thinking. 'Do you guys remember that day…?'

Kurt looked at us all. 'How could we not…'

* * *

We all sat in silence, the only sound the ticking of the gold rimmed clock on the wall. Brittany, Santana, Sugar and I sat on the couch near the window watching Rachel nervously pacing back and forth. Santana was the first to break the silence.

'Face it,' she shrugged. 'You told her not to come, so she's keeping to that.'

Brittany placed her hand over Santana's and shook her head. I elbowed her sharply in the ribs from the other side.

I hissed quietly. 'Santana!'

Rachel stopped pacing and looked at us as if she were waiting for Santana to say more, but before she could open her big mouth and ruin everything; Finn strode into the little room wearing his suit.

'Rachel…'

Santana folded her arms. 'Nice of you to join us knuckle dragger.'

Finn glared at her. 'Rachel, if we're gonna do this, we need to do this now. They can't wait anymore for us.'

She looked up at him, toying with her engagement ring. 'Quinn's not here…'

'I thought you told her you didn't want her to come…?'

She closed her eyes for a second before speaking. 'But I thought she would honestly…'

'_Rachel_…'

The familiar voice made all of our heads to turn to find Quinn standing in the doorway.

'Rachel you can't do this.'

Kurt and Santana exchanged an excited knowing look. Rachel just stood still, staring at her as if she was in disbelief that Quinn had showed.

'I know you told me you didn't want me here but I couldn't know that I was missing the chance to stop you from making a big mistake.'

'Quinn I-'

'Please Rachel; I need to just tell you…'

'Rachel!' Finn interrupted Quinn. 'Rachel let's go do this.'

Rachel looked back at Quinn before walking over to Finn near the doorway.

Quinn stepped forward, never one to back down from a fight.

'Rachel _please_ don't do this.' Her voice was lowered, begging. 'I care too much about you to watch you make the biggest mistake of your life.'

I looked over to Santana who was already too busy grinning with wide eyes to an equally excited Kurt. I rolled my eyes; trust them to know gossip before everyone else.

'Think of all the people who supported you.' Quinn continued. 'What happened to the Rachel Berry who was more obsessed with ambitions of Broadway than anything else? They supported you; _we_ supported you because we knew you were going to the top, doing things that most of us would probably only be able to dream of. Somewhere inside you know this isn't the top for you. Don't settle Rachel. If you do this now you'll be denying yourself of all the things you know you could have.'

Rachel finally stole a glance back to Quinn before she looked up at Finn towering above her.

'None of that is true Rach, go on tell her its not. You're happy with you and me remember…?'

'Finn I…'

'_Rachel_…'

She looked down and shook her head. 'I can't do this…'

She turned and hurried out of the room, her veil flying behind her. Finn turned to Quinn as she watched Rachel leave the room.

She shrugged. 'Sorry Finn.'

* * *

Puck smiled with nostalgia. 'She was such a rockstar.'

Shelby shook her head. 'She shouldn't have done it.'

Santana turned, her eyes suddenly darkening. 'What the hell would you know about it? It was Rachel's wedding and you weren't even there.'

'If she hadn't gone to stop the wedding she never would have got into that accident speeding after Rachel.'

'If she hadn't stopped the wedding, Quinn and Rachel would have never been together.'

'And you wanna deny Rachel of that happiness?' she scoffed. 'Some mother you are.'

'Santana that's enough!' Puck yelled.

Kurt shook his head. 'This all feels like one of those bad TV movies on Lifetime…' he mumbled from behind me.

The whole thing made me smile. We'd left McKinley ten years ago; we all looked slightly different but underneath it all, we were exactly the same people we used to be. The white door near the front of the chapel opened and Mike stepped in. Ten years later and my heart still sings every time I see him.

He looked confused for a second when he saw us all in there, but then oddly relieved. 'Leroy and Hiram want to meet all of us this afternoon at Rachel and Quinn's.'

We all looked at each other.

'_All_ of us…?' Puck asked.

Mike nodded. 'They said Tina and I, Santana and Brittany, you and Shelby, and Kurt and Dave.'

None of us had even thought of going back to Quinn and Rachel's apartment. I could tell by everyone's faces, no one was looking forward to it.


	7. Chapter 7

******A/N: The song used in this chapter is _Never Let Me Go_ - Florence and the Machine, if you wanna get a feel for the chapter you should definitely listen to it while you're reading :) There is also Hebrew used in this chapter, but I'm only as good as what Google tells me so I'm really sorry if I've got the translation wrong. You can Google it and find out what the words mean ;) **

* * *

**Chapter 7: Hiram**

The skin of my feet prickled as I lowered them down. The warmth spread up my bare legs as they became more submerged. The warmth kept spreading, like some kind of blanket that I needed to cover and secure me. My whole being just felt exhausted. It had been weeks since the accident, and I was still at a loss trying to understand that universal expression 'it gets better'. I'd like to choke the person who said 'time heals all wounds' or 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'. It just makes me sick to my stomach.

I eased my muscles down into the warmth, stretching myself out to lie back. My chiropractor says my back muscles are all knotted up. I hate even saying I have a chiropractor, it makes me feel about eighty years old. Rachel always said that she'd make sure she'd be the one to cook for me or clip my nails when I'm too old to do it myself. She said it to both of us.

I closed my eyes trying to block the surges in my brain, encouraging the seeming never-ending flood. The dam burst a long time ago. I reached down over the side and picked up a tiny black remote. Leroy's iPod was in the dock and I trust his sense of music, so I just pressed play. Florence and the Machine began to play. _So perfectly Quinn_. It's as if she knew I was in her tub.

I dropped the remote onto the off-white tiled floor and let my head sink back. The water amplified the pulsing beat of my heart through my forearms pressed against the sides of the tub. I could almost feel my blood meandering its way through my veins. I pressed my back into the wall of the tub, relaxing every muscle I have as my eyes slipped shut.

I can understand why people say drowning is supposed to feel like you're back in your mother's womb. They say your brain resets itself to the euphoric state, so you just feel nothing. They make it sound so simple, like how you can just press a button and reset an iPod back to its factory settings if something goes wrong. Wouldn't it be _so_ easy if humans could do that?

I felt the warmth ease into my skin, opening me up. Warm arms cocooned me into my own watery grave. Breathing felt a little easier, thinking felt a little lighter. The water around me distorted and echoed the words drifting around the room like free particles.

* * *

_And the arms of the ocean are carrying me _

_And all of this devotion was rushing out of me _

_And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me _

_The arms of the ocean deliver me. _

They say you see blinding white light. There was no blinding white light. Only black. It was all black around me but I felt weightless. My feet no longer dragged along as I walked, and my shoulders no longer hunched forward. I thought the ache deep within the cavern of my chest had disappeared, but when I thin shadow of light appeared in front of me; I knew that somewhere the ache was still there.

But nothing mattered anymore. Because she was there.

She looked, just as I remember her. Beautiful thick brown hair that she got from me. (Yes, I'll take credit for that). Those same incandescent brown eyes. She wore white. A beautiful white, knee-length dress. She recognised me instantly.

I stepped towards her and she ran to me. She wrapped her little arms around my neck and I held onto her as tight as I could, but I could never hold her as close as I wanted. She wore the tiny gold star necklace around her neck that Quinn bought her the first Christmukkah they were together. I'm guessing Leroy already told you that story. He always loves to explain that to everyone.

Her heartbeat was slow. So painfully slow, but it was there. Pressed against mine. I could've stayed there forever. Feeling her beat against me. My dearest shining star. I pressed my hand against the back of her head and cradled her as she pressed the side of her head into my neck. Just like we'd do when she was a child. We said nothing, our bodies said it all.

In any religious or biblical artistic imagery or texts, angels usually are shown with wings; to signify their importance. Rachel was our angel. But she had no physical wings. Her wings were in her throat. Her wings were her voice. She had her wings before any of the other angels got theirs. I guess that's why people were always so mean to her. They were jealous of her wings.

I took her petite hand in mine, and placed her other hand on my shoulder. I slid one hand behind her ribs, and we began to dance. The dance that I'd never have a chance to dance with her at her wedding.

_Never let me go, never let me go _

_Never let me go, never let me go _

The way she moved, it was like her feet weren't even touching the floor. She glided so easily…_like an angel_. She always liked it when she was little, she'd hop onto the bridges of my feet and we'd dance together. We'd dance and I would tell her that I would dance with her at her wedding, just like that. She'd laugh; that infectious, boisterous laugh.

She flowed through my arms; I closed the cracks between my fingers so she wouldn't slip away. Her white dress breezed around her legs, and finally I was at peace. I had the chance to feel her in my arms again, and I never wanted to leave whatever place it was that had meant she'd come to me. I'd hit euphoria.

I felt something press against me. I looked down, and her small round stomach was pressing against me, more than it used to. She stepped out of my arms, and took my hands into hers. Her skin felt barely warm, like a small candle flickering, still holding onto its small life. She brought my hands to her stomach. And then I understood.

I looked up to her face, and she was smiling. For the first time since I saw her again, she was sincerely smiling. I was always helpless to that luminous smile.

She nodded and held her palms against the backs of my hands. 'Yeled.'

I yanked my hands out from under hers, and embraced her again. I kissed her temple. _A boy_. _A boy_. My eyes shut again and the tears began to flow. But this time they weren't the cold tears that they had been in the past few weeks. They were hot tears. New, fresh tears, warming my face like the steaming bath water.

She wrapped her arms up around my ribs and her palms pressed against my shoulder blades. When I opened up my eyes, we weren't alone. Quinn was there. Beautiful, young, cherub-blonde Quinn. She was also in a white dress, almost identical to Rachel's.

_And it's over_

_And I'm going under_

_But I'm not giving up_

_I'm just giving in _

She saw me and smiled so serenely. They were together. They had each other. I pulled back from her embrace and she looked up at me. I nodded my head towards Quinn, but she didn't turn her head. She just smiled. She already knew she was there. She bunched up her tiny fists laid against my chest. She kissed my cheek so softly like a fleeting embrace and stepped back towards Quinn.

She smiled. 'Ani ohevet otkhah.'

I nodded and smiled back. 'Ani ohev otakh.'

I felt a strong pulling force, making me walk backwards; away from Rachel and Quinn. I didn't want to leave them, but I just couldn't stop the pulling. Pulling me away.

* * *

Things didn't stay black for long. The warmth quickly disappeared, replaced with a sobering cold against my spine. I felt as if I'd been holding my breath, till my lungs ached with need for oxygen.

My mouth fell open and I realised the music had stopped. The darkness was replaced with flickering light. My lungs expanded, taking in a gulp of air and my eyes opened. Leroy was hovering over me as I lay on the cold tiled floor, dripping wet; one hand against my face. His eyes roved over me.

'Hiram…' His voice cracked, sounding breathless with worry.

I smiled gently. 'She's okay.' His hand brushed against my forehead. I nodded.

'Our little girl. She's okay.'


End file.
